28 Golden heavy heart

What do you see when you look at me? Do you see a little girl with naive dreams and a big golden heart? Or a ordinary girl with the reality slapping at her face and owner of a heavy broken heart? When I look at myself, when I see my face in the mirror, I see both. I mean... I'm a little girl, I have naive dreams... But also I have to face reality most of the time and it's not that sweet. My heart was broken so many times in so many different ways by so many different people... But it's so big that forgave most of them. And it's still golden. With bruises, but keeping a soft golden sparkle.

You know, I'm so freaking confused right now... I thought so much about who I am that I lost myself in these thoughts. I lost my soul on that little sparkle that shines on my heart... Now I'm like a drama queen. I think my problems are the worst, I cry every time things start to happen in a different way I've planned. And then I realize that there are so many worse problems in the world... And I lose myself again, because... If my problems are not that bad, then why my heart keeps aching? Why can't I feel it a little less heavy and warmer? Why can't I feel a little less confused? Actually, I get more and more confused by every minute thinking about it, but I just can't stop myself. I can't help it. Thinking is part of who I am. A really big part. I can't say I don't like it, because I do. I don't like thinking that much. Overthinking is bad for heart and my heart wants to keep with their golden sparkle. My heart don't want to lose their brightness.